Snapshots
by Crystal Remnant
Summary: 30 short stories with the PaternalFriend!RoyEd paring. --Chapter: Food for Thought -- The quickest way to Edward's heart is through his stomach.
1. Helping Hand

_**A/N: **Thought of this one day…it just came up in the back of my mind for some reason or other…Explanation time! Maes is not dead in these stories, nor will he ever be. I really like Maes too…ah well, that's what happens when you're (one) of my favourite characters from an anime. Anyway, got sick of reading EdxRoy Yaoi. No offense to those out there who do like it, it's just that it grows tiresome after awhile…I'll read it, sure, but written poorly I become Scar-like-homicidal! Anyway, I don't own squat. These stories are nothing but friendly/fatherly gestures. So…enjoy!_

**Title: **Helping Hand  
**Rating: **T. No warnings. Mainly based on Manga.  
**Summary: **As a treat, Roy decides to take Edward out for a much needed break. But who said Edward would enjoy himself?

* * *

"Sit still." 

"I can't help it!" he hissed back. "My arse is numb…"

They were both hushed by a person behind them. Edward immediately reached over the back of his seat and grabbed at the man who'd silenced them. But just as the small blonde was an inch away from the brunette haired man's face, he was pulled harshly back into his seat and clipped across the ear sharply. He glared at the older man, but just crossed his arms across his chest and pouted.

"Stop pouting."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Shove it Mustang!" he hissed.

This time the man wasn't brave enough to 'Shh' them again.

A painful three hours later of sitting next to a fidgeting Edward, Roy Mustang was glad to be out of the theater and into the fresh night air. Stretching, he let his bones crack before turning around and watch as Edward followed with his hands in his black tux pants.

Mustang sighed "So much for that idea."

"_I_ didn't _ask_ to go to the _stupid_ Opera," Ed snapped walking past the taller man. Once again, Mustang sighed. Another attempt to show the boy a good time, and some culture, had gone down the drain. Edward had returned in a rather sullen mood from his most recent mission. Roy worried when the boy's attitude hadn't improved. So he made an effort to try and cheer him up.

Thinking that a brilliant mind like his would enjoy the culture, he'd reserved seats for the next opera. Looking back at the poster, he squinted and made out the name 'Beethoven'. However, all thoughts of the concert were shoved aside as he saw Edward move out of the corner of his eye. Following him, they started back on their way towards Headquarters in silence.

"You know, I was just trying to cheer you up FullMetal," Roy said after a block or two of walking.

"Edward."

"Huh?"

"Call me Edward. I'm sick of 'FullMetal.' I'm no weapon." The blonde turned to face his superior, with the slightest flicker of emotion in his eyes.

Roy nodded and took a small breath. "Well, _Edward, _I was trying to cheer you up. You've been sulking around for the last two weeks." Roy shifted on his feet. "I was worried. Usually you bounce back after a day or so."

Edward turned side on, giving the man a view of just how thin he was. "Well…thanks for trying," he whispered, his eyes downcast. The man observed his subordinate, taking in his mood. His black tux did wonders in bringing out the colour in his eyes and hair, which had been pulled up into a tight ponytail. Mustang sighed and walked forward, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder making him look up.

"If you want to talk, I'm free anytime."

Ed smirked, making Mustang smile too.

"You just wanna get out of the paperwork," Ed said evilly.

"Me? Never!" Mustang said over dramatically making Edward snigger.

"Lazy bastard."

Mustang smiled at him. Taking a step ahead of him, he reached back and slung an arm around Edward's shoulders, pulling him along. "You know, at least I got to see how you look in a tux. _Civilized _clothing actually looks quiet handsome on you m'boy," He said rubbing the boy's arm roughly.

"And what's wrong with my other clothing?" the smaller asked, arching an eyebrow.

"You see, people think **smaller **of you. They can't help but think that you're just a **little **boy."

Quickly separating from him, Edward chased home his superior officer. He cursed and yelled at him saying he wasn't short while the man ahead of him just laughed. Roy was as sure as hell that it would wake more than a few people in the neighborhood they were walking through, but he was just glad that Edward was back to usual, loud self again.

* * *

-Crystal Remnant 


	2. Dragon Fruit and Cream

_**A/N: **Thanks to all those who reviewed so far! Aemilia Rose, cuylerjade, Jessica, and CharizardRulz-Cyborg009Wolf thanks for reviewing. I do answer questions, but not the stupid ones like 'Why are you writing so badly?' Yes. You are an idiot. So, I don't own Full Meal Alchemist, but if I did, Maes would still be alive…Also, sorry for the delay, but I was painting my room! Go blood maroon!  
_

**Title: **Dragon Fruit and Cream  
**Rating: **T. swearing.  
**Summary: **Edward was never one for the mess' lunches

* * *

Maes practically was drooling, as was Havoc who sat beside the small blonde who was happily enjoying his treat. Winry, who was unable to make it out to Central, had sent Edward a box of fruits that were only found in Risembool. 

"Just…"

"No."

"C'mon…"

"No way," Ed replied putting about cream covered piece of fruit in his mouth. "These are _mine._ Not yours. **Mine.** Besides, they're special…"

"Because your girlfriend gave them to you?"

"Ack! Where the hell did you come from?" Edward asked turned in his seat.

Mustang casually took a seat next to the red blonde and looked into the bowl he was hiding so well. He sighed and took a random fork. "Really now, is that anyway to treat your commanding officer?" he asked.

Edward frowned "Shouldn't you be doing paperwork?"

"Ah, but I am human too. I must stop to eat sometimes."

"Really? I thought you were demon spawn?" Edward shot back.

Maes snickered as Roy's eye twitched. "Now, now _Edward, _All I wanted to know is what that delectable looking fruit was," he said pointing his fork down at the bowl which was still tightly in Edward's grasp.

"Oh no you don't!"

Mustang sighed as Edward pulled the bowl closer to him.

"Look," Roy said pointing the fork in the opposite direction.

"I'm not that stupid you bastard Colonel."

"No. Really, that guy is making cracks about your height…something about being small than an ants knee?"

"Where!"

In the brief moment Edward was distracted; Roy stuck his fork in the bowl and took a piece of red fruit. Examining the piece of fruit on his fork, he watched as the cream dripped off it and onto his hand. Quickly licking it away, he smirked as he saw Maes and Havoc basically ask for him to give them some.

"_Bastard!"_

He popped the small fruit in his mouth. "You snooze you lose Edward. Besides, sharing is good for you. I only have your best interest at heart."

Silence followed as Roy so painfully made it obvious that he was enjoying the fruit. But it was indeed good. Roy decided that it tasted somewhere between a strawberry and banana. It was strange, yet tasty. Edward watched, frowning as Roy chewed the fruit and swallowed it. Roy licked the fork and put it back down on the table. "Delicious…"

"…heh."

They all looked at Edward who was smiling. "There's something I forgot to tell you…"

"Oh really, and what would that be?"

"The fruit, 'Dragon Fruit', ever heard of it?"

Before Mustang could open his mouth, Hughes burst out laughing. He turned to his friend with a puzzling look. Maes only laughed harder. "Roy, you're in for a real treat!" he managed to get out in between laughing.

"Huh?"

"Dragon fruit. Unless you've been brought up on it, it acts as a laxative."

"Oh…shit…"

"Precisely."

Before Mustang had a chance to get out of the Mess Hall quick enough, Ed started cracking up and having to hold his side incase he burst. "Remember Roy, sometimes I have your best interest at heart!"

* * *

I wanna say sorry again for the delays...I'll be more...harsh with my deadlines! Remember to R&R next time! 

-Crystal Remnant


	3. Close

_**A/N: **Thanks to the people who reviewed! I'm updating early because my teachers dumped a load of work on me for the weekend…sucks to be senior! And for those who read 'Growing Shadow'…uh…I'll put it this way; Ed's been eaten by the plot bunnies. Heh. I'd get these done sooner, but my study comes first. __The psychology course standards are too freaking high I say!_

_I don't own Full Metal Alchemist…_

_And no one else but Hiromu Arakawa will until I do!_

**Title: **Close  
**Rating: **K+  
**Summary: **After seeing Edward while he's in the hospital, Roy comes to a conclusion. EdxWinry if you want to see it that way…

* * *

Edward was especially 'close' to his mechanic and childhood friend, Winry Rockbell. 

Winry was especially 'close' to her client and childhood friend, Edward Elric.

Roy Mustang walked away from the hospital room with a small smirk on his face. Putting the pen back into his front pocket, he knew that he'd have fun tomorrow when Edward was discharged.

"_Sir, go visit him."_

_He looked up from his paperwork and blinked in confusion. "What did you say Hawkeye?"_

"_You're worried about Edward. I'll allow you to go see him," she said. _

"_I'm worried, but not **that **worried Hawkeye. It's fine," he replied looking back down at his paperwork. "Besides, he has Winry with him."_

"_Yes, but you'll never get any paperwork done, Sir. You've been perusing the same document for nearly three quarters of an hour now Colonel." _

"_Ah…it appears that I have…" he sighed. "Alright, I'll go see him."_

"_Good. I expect you back in one hour."_

"_So what do I-"_

"_Take her a rose, and take him a book to read."_

"_Thank you Hawkeye. I'll be back soon," he said standing up._

"So how'd it go?" Hawkeye asked seeing him walk back into the office.

"Oh fine," he said smirking. "He was asleep so I just left him be."

"And Winry?"

"…She was somewhere or other…probably out to lunch."

"Alright. Now…Back to your paperwork."

"More than happy to," he said still smirking and walking over to his desk. When he was gone, Hawkeye must have added another pile to the small stack because it was large than before. He shrugged and grabbed the first piece before saying, "Let's begin!"

"Sir…what did you do?"

_He walked out of the small gift store in the hospital, looking back and winking at the now smitten, young and beautiful shopkeeper who he had a date with one week from now on the Friday night. With the rose in one hand and the book in the other, he casually walked up a sterile hall. Taking a left, he came to a stop at a blue door with the numbers "403" engraved on it. _

_He knocked once, and after no reply, he walked straight in. The Colonel wasn't a patient man and had very little time before his subordinate came looking for him. "Edward, I hope you don't mind the intrusion but-…oh…"_

_A small smirk graced his lips as he trailed off. Edward was infact asleep. But it wasn't that, that had him smirking. Winry Rockbell was curled up against his chest on the bed next to him. Her head was resting on his left arm which was reaching across the bed and her hair was strewn across her shoulders. Edward's chest was bare except for the bandages that snaked around his mid and up onto his arm. Winry's tools had been scattered on the bed around them, with the rest of her tool box on the floor. _

_Roy could just hear Hughes squealing like a school girl at the sight._

_Mustang thought quickly. Not wanting to wake them, he took a pen from his pocket. In a swift move, he put the rose in his mouth (which was thornless thank god) and opened the front page of the tome. Scribbling down a quick note, he closed it and put the book on the bedside table with the rose. _

"_Get better soon," he whispered before walking out of the small room. _

"Sir?"

"Hm?"

"What did you do?" Hawkeye asked again.

Mustang tried not to laugh. "Nothing. I'm just remembering something, that's all."

Hawkeye gave him a skeptical look before turning back to her own work. _I wonder, _she thought, _what on earth did he do this time?_

* * *

Edward's eyes scanned over the quick note as his face flushed. Winry saw this and leaned over to try and read what he was reading, only to have the book snap shut. "What?" she asked. 

"It's nothing." Was his blunt reply.

Winry frowned. "C'mon, just let me read it!" she whined.

"No!"

"Then I'll make you!"

"Ack! Winry!" she'd tackled him to the bed and reached for the book. "Ow! Winry! OW! Stop it!"

The blue covered book fell out of his hand and on to the ground as the two wrestled. The pages began to part and the front of the book was exposed. Along with the title that was printed at the front, a messily written note was inscribed just below the credits.

_Edward,_

_You both look so… 'Cute' (as Hughes would put it) together. _

_It's about time you found yourself a girlfriend. Give her the rose on the table –and say it's from you as well._

_From, _

_Roy._

_P.S_

_See you in my office tomorrow FullMetal. _

* * *

Done…phew… 

Next time!

-Crystal Remnant


	4. Fire Bugs

_**A/N: **Too much school work doesn't make me a very happy camper…at all. Besides that, thanks for the reviews everyone!_

_I declare this disclaimed!_

**Title: **Fire Bugs  
**Rating: **T  
**Summary: **It really wasn't easier than it looked.

* * *

"Okay now…" 

_Snap_

"Better…"

"Better? How the _hell_ do you do this?" Edward yelled.

It had been a little over an hour and Edward was getting cranky, making Roy just as annoyed. Roy sighed and stood behind the boy once more, taking his arm and aiming it up towards the sky. "Now, I want you to try on my mark," he said.

"Why?"

"Just do it!" Roy hissed back.

They remained silent for a moment. A small breeze picked up and Roy's hand flinched.

"Now," he said.

Edward snapped his thumb and middle finger.

A small flame appeared above them, dancing in the wind for a brief moment before disappearing into nothing. Edward let out a triumphant laugh and Roy smirked. Moving away from the smaller alchemist, he ruffled the boy's hair.

"Good work."

"I told ya I could do it!" Edward shouted happily.

Roy couldn't help but laugh at his declaration. Only moments before had he said it was impossible and that somehow Mustang was infact faking it and hiding some sort of device under his uniform that made the sparks for him.

Edward pulled the glove tighter onto his left hand before saying, "I want to have another go."

Roy nodded and instructed the blonde like before. Aiming his arm up at the sky, into the autumn breeze, he waited for the right air current to come along. Stepping away from him, Roy gave the signal and he snapped his thumb and middle finger. This time, a larger flame danced in the wind and took longer to die out than the one before.

"Well done Edward."

"Cool…"

Mustang craned his neck up suddenly to look over across the courtyard. Smirking, he looked back down at Edward who was busy tracing the emblem on the glove with his automail fingers.

"Now for some target practice."

"Target?"

"Indeed. So, turn around and aim for that tree right over there," he said pointing to under a tree.

Edward squinted and scratched his head. "But Havoc's sitting under there."

"Yes. I know. So, just bring your hand up and--"

"Why am I doing this?" he asked looking back at Roy as he lifted his left arm up to aim for the blonde under the tree.

"Uh…" _Because Havoc drank the rest of my scotch,_ "He called you short," Roy whispered.

"SHORT!" Edward spat.

Roy nodded, "I thought you might want to get him back."

Edward frowned and focused in on his target. "Oh I will."

Hawkeye was sitting quietly while finishing off some paperwork up in the office. Edward had announced that the Colonel was a wimp and that using his gloves to create fire would be a cinch. For awhile, she'd watched from the window with a smile as the Colonel had tried to get Edward to listen to him, but the short-tempered alchemist would just snap at him and do his own thing.

"HELP!"

Her head snapped up when she heard the scream from the courtyard. Walking faster than normal over to the window, she looked down with one hand delicately pressed to the glass. She sighed as she saw Havoc running around in circles with his uniform skirt on fire. Roy was laughing hard and Edward was shaking his gloved fist at the screaming man.

"I guess we have two fire bugs now…"

* * *

Later 

-Crystal Remnant


	5. Lessons Learned

_**A/N: **Sorry about such a late update everyone…Exams suck and the teachers make us sit through them just for fun. Especially in senior. Well, I've got one more exam left and then I done…My love goes out to my reviewers this time! Thank you all! And I hope you enjoy!_

_DISCLAIMED_

**Title: **Lessons Learned  
**Rating: **T. swearing mainly. That and psychotic freak outs.  
**Summary: **Mustang teaches Ed something that Maes taught him.

* * *

It was silent, and he was thankful. He was thankful that the man sitting next to him didn't say anything. And that's what he preferred. Not to be prodded and poked at like his brother would in due time. 

_Bless him, _Ed thought, despite the fact that he wasn't religious, _but sometimes…_

He sighed and glanced over at the man sitting next to him. Both were slouched against the wall. Their clothing was loose around the necks to give them little comfort, and their belts loosened. His automail arm had been transformed back from a blade but his jacket was torn into different places. Shoes were kicked off the side and both had a tumbler of a warming tawny liquid next to them. The man next to him occasionally took a small sip; however, he on the other hand, hadn't touched it. The dark provided a blanket of security, despite what he'd feared.

"_There's too much fucking blood!"_

He let out a small whimper of sorts and attempted to block out the voices in his head, but the man next to him stopped his hands from reaching his head. "Don't, it'll just make it worse," he said in a smooth voice.

He didn't make eye contact, but he nodded and took a deep breath.

"Why not take a sip? It'll make you feel better," he suggested while swirling the alcohol in his own glass.

"I'm a freaking minor." He knew the elder was just concerned. "I'm not allowed."

"I want you to at least try. Despite what you may think…"

And then, for the first time since he'd been found screaming in a fit of psychotic depression, he looked up at the dark haired man. His charcoal eyes looked relaxed and calm like he'd dealt with this type of thing before, and a small smile played on his lips. The blonde let out a small chuckle before saying, "Alright, I'll try it."

Taking the glass at his side, he swirled it a little before raising it to his lips. The fumes had reached his nose as the liquid trickled into his mouth. It was oddly familiar in a way, but he swallowed it anyway. The warmth spread through his body almost instantly, seeming to reach every vain in his system. And the way it burned in his mouth…just like the times when he'd…

The glass smashed and he screamed.

The other man was quick to act. Grabbing the blonde's wrists, he pinned them at his sides. "Edward, stop."

Ceasing slowly, Edward let out a choked breath and let his head fall forward so his bangs covered his face. "I can't help it…"

The elder sighed, "I know. I know…"

It became silent once more as he remained kneeled near the blonde, wrists held firmly in his grasp. Whispers of concern rang from outside as painful reminders of what he'd have to face later. The dark haired man cursed them, and wished they'd just leave so Edward could recover without worrying about what would happen once he went back outside.

"Hey, Colonel…?"

He looked back down at the boy and was shocked to hear his title without 'bastard' or 'shithead' attached. Bangs still shadowed his eyes, but he could still see the small smile on his face. "Why are you so calm about this? Others would've just called the ward."

Letting go of his wrists and taking his seat next to the blonde, he let out a long breath. "I've been through this too, and I'm sure you know why Edward."

He nodded absently and fiddled with a broken shard of glass next to him "Ishbal, right?" he asked.

This time, he nodded. Taking a small sip of what was left of his beverage, he contemplated how he should explain it to him. Resting the glass on his legs, he looked over at Edward. "Ishbal…I was only a few years older than you. After the war was over…" he paused and closed his eyes, recalling the feeling of emptiness and overwhelming guilt. "It was hard to come to terms with what I'd done."

"…How old…were you?" he asked.

"19. I was 19 when I was declared a 'live weapon.'"

Edward gave a whistle emphasizing just how surprised he was. "That's young. Especially to go to war," he said.

"You were too young to join the military Edward. And you still are too young to be in the military," he said setting his glass down beside him. "Being so young, I didn't understand that I needed help if I wanted to, in a sense, 'get better'. Hughes was older than I was, and taught me this lesson just like I am teaching you now. Hawkeye went through something similar."

"Really…?" he asked.

The elder nodded. "Except, despite her gun happy attitude, she didn't kill me," he said indicating to Ed's automail. There was small nick on his neck where the blade had skimmed over. Edward had been in a rage at the time, unaware what he was doing. But it still scared the hell out of him. "She learned, like you are right now, that you can't always keep things to yourself. You need to talk it out instead of letting it fester within you."

"Guess you're right, but-"

"No buts." He was firm with Edward. "No bottling it up."

"Fine," Edward sighed in defeat and took a deep breath. "So what now?"

Mustang looked down into his empty glass and tilted his head to the side. He glanced down at his watch which read quarter to 12, and the he looked over to the door. The whispers outside seemed to be incessant. He knew the people who were out there were concerned, but they'd ambush Edward the moment he'd left the office. The light that came in through the stained window highlighted when people walked past, or stopped at the door to listen. He knew that Havoc, Hawkeye, Hughes and Alphonse were out there.

He went to suggest something to his younger friend but becoming aware of the weight that had been on his shoulder, he looked down to find Edward had fallen asleep on him.

"Smart choice," he said as he slowly pulled away, his arm keeping him in the same position. In a smooth and silent move, he scooped the boy up carefully into his arms. He walked over to where the shoes were and sliding them on, he didn't bother with his crooked jacket or taking Edward's boots. Adjusting him a little, he made sure Edward's honey-blonde bangs covered his face, and the dark rings under his eyes before (with great difficulty) opening the door.

He was met with worried faces, hurried questions and a frantic brother. All of which silenced with the indication of the sleeping form in his arms. He made them the promise of telling them later what had happened, and that he'd take Edward to the hospital. Signs earlier on in the night gave away that he was suffering from exhaustion.

The next day, he signed the forms for Edward's sick leave and silently wished to himself that Ed would make a full recovery.

_

* * *

Yay. Done with this chapter finally! This chapter is based in the manga. Mustang was only 19 when he went off to war, which is REALLY young. Kind of a crappy ending, but that's just pure laziness and the nagging in the back of my mind that says that I should be studying!_

_So thanks for reading!_

_-Crystal Remnant_


	6. Three in One

**A/N: **_I'm so sorry for not updating in a long time! My new computer has been having some…troubles and still is. Spell check on my computer isn't working, so if you see a word that isn't spelled correctly; don't hesitate to put it in writing. But hopefully my beta has done a very good job! I can trust her. So, onto the main stuff. I don't own Full Metal Alchemist no matter what I do. This chapter makes up for all the updating I've missed too..._

**Title: **Winter Wonderland  
**Rating: **T  
**Summary: **The arm should've come with a warning.

* * *

It had all started when a 15-year-old Edward had decided that the entire office should have a break. It was snowing and they did need to have some fun. So out they all went, Alphonse staying inside insisting it would rust his armor – snow was just frozen water after all. 

Havoc; who was currently buried under a mound of snow at least four feet high- was the first to launch a snowball at Mustang. Mustang had ducked out of the way unaware that the ever-faithful Hawkeye was behind him. The snowball hit her in the middle of her forehead. Watching in dread, Havoc started to run while screaming like a little girl and being chased by Black Hayate who'd been ordered to 'kill'.

Mustang was laughing so hard that he failed to notice the snowball that was flying towards him. The offending snowball imploded with a _'squelch'_ on his face, nearly knocking him over into the snow.

Manic laughing erupted from the blonde who'd launched it. Growling, the Colonel rolled a ball of ice of his own and threw it at him. Jumping out of the way, Edward laughing even harder at Mustang.

"Stay still FullMetal! You're too small to hit when you're moving!" he shouted at him.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THEY-"

_Squelch_

"…You-!"

This time, Mustang was laughing. Pulling the glove off on his right hand while keeping the left covered, Edward rolled some of the snow into a ball using his automail hand. "Take this!" he yelled throwing the ball at the dark haired man.

Mustang dodged and laughed.

Edward clapped his hands and transmuted a snow monster- Mustang reached for his gloves and panicked for there were no gloves other than normal ones…

Edward let out a joyful victory call just as Mustang was made part of the base of a giant snow mound that rose several feet into the air. With only his legs poking out of the snow, Mustang struggled until Hawkeye came to help him, along with Hayatewho also helpedby dragging him out. Once he was out, Mustang let out a sigh of relief and thanked Hawkeye who mumbled something under her breath before walking away, clearly annoyed.

Edward was laughing so hard that he'd fallen over.

"The flame has been extinguished!" A snow covered Havoc called out, licking his finger and poking his butt – while adding a 'hiss'.

"Shut it Jean!" Mustang yelled.

"He's right!" Ed, now composed, yelled in agreement, gleeful over his victory . "The flame has been extinguished!" He licked his finger and _tried _to poke hisbutt, but he remembered something.

He'd licked his automail…

Everyone fell silent, right before bursting out laughing.

* * *

Mustang grabbed Edward's arm and tried pulling him forward, only to have him scream at him. Which was quiet amusing considering his tongue was stuck to his automail and his abuse came out as 'thuck –u ath 'ole'. 

"Now, what have we learnt Edward?" Mustang asked rather smugly.

All Edward gave, as a response, was low snarl.

"Sir," Hawkeye said appearing next to him with a mug. "I have what you wanted."

"Ah, thank you." He took the cup from her and turned back to Edward. "This may burn a little."

"Usth hu-y uh-" Edward replied.

Mustang shrugged and poured the steamy liquid onto his automail, instantly separating his tongue from the cold metal. Edward gave a relieved breath as he licked the stray liquid up. Shaking his automail hand to get rid of the excess, Edward wondered off into the snowfield, happy to be free.

"Sir-"

"Three," Mustang cut her off, holding up threefingers andcounting while looking at his watch. "Two, one and-"

"AH! Milk! I'm dying! Gross! ACK! MUSTANG YOU BASTARD!" Edward screamed random obscenities while falling over into the snow pretending to be dying

– Or was he?

"Sir…why did you-"

"Next time he'll remember not to lick his automail," Mustang replied with a chuckle and sipping the hot milk.

**

* * *

**

**Title:** Talking  
**Rating:** T-M depends how you see Ed's mouth in this.  
**Summary:** Sometimes, a coating of sugar is good

* * *

Mustang coughed a few times and fidgeted in his chair while Edward sat in the cushiony chair in front of his desk, boredom setting in quickly. The dark hair Colonel cleared his throat and tried not to show the embarrassment he was feeling. He looked towards Edward to find he was rolling pieces of lint from the chair into a ball. He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it like a fish. 

14 year old Edward looked up before asking, "What?"

"N-nothing at all Edward." The older man straightened.

"Sir, if you don't mind, I think you should just _get it over and done with,"_ Hawkeye said opening the door, carrying in some paperwork for her supirior.

"Fine. I will," he said briskly. "Leave the paperwork outside, and I'll talk with Edward."

"Nice try, Sir." She dumped the large pile on his desk while Edward sniggered. "I'm sure he won't mind. Just don't sugar coat it."

And with that, she walked out after giving Edward a small nod of recognition.

"So what aren't you supposed to sugar coat?" the blonde asked.

Mustang sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Alright. Hawkeye made me promise I would, and I'm a man of my word Edward." A blonde eyebrow was raised in suspicion. Before he could ask however, the Colonel stood and walked around to the front of his desk and leaned against it. "I'm sure no one has given you this… lecture- no- a talk yes- talk. I'm sure no one has given you this talk before, but it is vital. So you don't make any stupid mistakes."

"What are you getting at?" Edward asked, suddenly feeling nervous.

Mustang cleared his throat once again. "You see, once you get to a certain age…certain… things happen to your body. Are you following me?"

Edward stared.

Mustang's jaw clenched in anticipation.

"Oh. Hell. No."

Outside, Havoc sat near the window while the smoke from his cigarette drifted off into the breeze. "How do you think it's going in there?" he asked the room. Falman shrugged while Kain blinked in confusion.

Noticing, Hawkeye sighed. "The Colonel has decided to give Edward 'The talk'. I'm sure you know perfectly well what I mean."

Breda tried his best not to laugh. "Why the Colonel? Edward's not gonna like it…" he said trailing off into a small chuckle.

Hawkeye closed the book she was reading and delicately placed it on the corner of her desk. Black Hayate, ever faithful remained at her feet. "You may not realize it," she said, briefing shortly to give her dog a pat, "But the Colonel is the closest thing to a authority figure in Alphonse and Edward's life." She smiled when Black Hayate wagged his tail in appreciation. "I-"

_Bang._

"Fucking hell! Where the fuck did that come from? What– arg! Don't want to hear it!" Edward screamed stomping out angrily.

"Edward, language." Hawkeye set a stern eye on him.

"What's with you people?" he screamed, face bright red. "I spend all my time in a library, and around perverts like him!" Edward yelled pointing to Havoc. "And let's not forget Colonel fucking bastard!" he screamed.

Havoc sniggered as Edward stomped out of the office in the same fashion as he did with Mustang's. "…I never actually stopped to think about that." Havoc scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I guess Edward would know about that stuff…being a genius and all."

"Sir?" Hawkeye asked, calling into his office.

"Next time," he called out from behind his desk, which Edward had thrown him behind, "We ask."

**

* * *

**

**Title:** Head Banger  
**Rating**: T – childish Ed and swearing.  
**Summary:** His tantrums hadn't changed…

* * *

Ever since Edward had joined the military, hewas known to thow one hell of atantrum. The first was when Edward had come back from his first field mission out in a remote town of Cartel, a lead for the Philosophers stone. Hawkeye, along with the rest of Mustang's unit had watched as the quiet 13 year old had revealed his true nature to them. Cursing every name under the sun, the blonde had stormed out angry. 

He'd been made to apologize later that day under the watchful barrel of Hawkeye's gun.

_"What do you mean my fault!"_

"_It is your fault Edward," a 27-year-old Roy Mustang snapped back. _

"It is not my fault the guy was a axe wielding maniac!" Edward shouted.

Mustang blinked. _That was the weirdest feeling of Deja vu ever…_

"Hey! Colonel bastard, you listening!" Edward shouted.

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you from all the way up here," he said leaning back in his chair.

"It's pointless!" Edward screamed. "I may have well been banging my head against a wall, it would have been more useful! Actually, do you know what? That's what I'm going to do!" Edward yelled walking over to the plaster wall.

* * *

"Hey Havoc, what-" 

_Bang_

_Thud_

"-Was that?" Kain finished, diverging from his original sentence.

"Oh god, they've killed each other!" Havoc said dramatically knowing their fights all too well.

Being the only sane one, Hawkeye sighed and stood from her desk. "I'll go check."

* * *

Mustang stood over Edward's unmoving form. 

"FullMetal?"

No movement.

"Edward?"

A small trickle of blood ran down his forehead.

"Oh shit! I've killed him!" Mustang yelled as the door to his office opened.

Havoc stared at his commanding officer wide-eyed.

"Crud, Havoc was right-!" Breda shouted seeing Edward on the ground.

Hawkeye frowned while looking between the unmoving form and the Colonel. "I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation." she tried to reason. Mustang nodded and laughed nervously while glancing quickly over to the cracks in the wall where Edward had more than proven that he was true to his word.

"Sir, what _happened_?"

Looking down at the short blonde, Mustang sighed and hoped that Edward wasn't too seriously injured. He knew that the blonde would most likely forget what had happened to him – why the bump was on his head – and why he would have one killer of a headache when he would wake up.

Despite the intensity however,Colonel Mustang concluded that Edward Elric's tantrums hadn't changed...

­­­­­­


	7. Upstart

Quick word: I'd forgotten all about this one-shot collection…oh well. Thanks to the people who reviewed and getting me off my arse again.

* * *

"Colonel?" 

"Yes, Hawkeye?"

"The Elric brothers are here to see you."

"Tell them I'll be a moment," He said, scanning over a piece of paper. Hawkeye, who was shocked to see him actually doing some form of work, nodded and closed the door, assuming that he was deep in thought over whatever case that held his interest at that moment. However, Roy was in fact was doing anything but work. In his hands he held a first hand account of the incident known as 'Prince Charming.'

Over the last couple of days, women all around central had been gossiping madly over the newest 'hot-stuff'. Grouping together in clusters, Roy would catch glimpses of their conversations; the man was a little shorter than he was, 'gorgeous blonde hair', tanned skin, and wore clothing that gave the women of central a nice view of his butt. He seemed a little shy, a little sulky, and was very quiet. He also managed to learn that he was too young for most of the women, putting him somewhere around 16 to 19 years old.

The tell-all account he also held in his hand was from Havoc, who'd been present at the diner where _it _had happened. Roy was fuming when he read it; someone had actually managed to get a girl so flustered that she'd passed out! That was his job! And now this upstart teen was taking all his glory! He frowned and ran a hand through his hair trying to figure out what he could possibly do to win back some of his fan-base.

"Sir," Havoc said, barging into his office, "You'll never believe-"

"I'm busy Havoc," Roy interrupted, turning around in his chair to look outside.

"It's got to do with the 'Upstart', Colonel," He replied.

Without turning around, the man waved him off, "What about him? He managed to 'woo' another one of my fan girls?"

"Actually Sir…"

"Colonel, Edward's requested that you just see him for a moment so he can, quote unquote; 'Crash already.'"

"Fine. Send him in," Mustang said, still gazing out the window.

"Edward, the Colonel will see you now," He heard Hawkeye saying as she walked out of the room.

"Colonel…"

"Relax Havoc. We'll just see what FullMetal wants first." He spun around in his chair. He saw Havoc shrug and give him a look that seemed to cry; 'it's not my fault if you freak out.'

The moment Edward set foot in his office with Alphonse standing behind him, he felt like screaming.

"Look, here's the stupid report, can I go?" Edward, _with short hair, _asked. Shell-shocked, the Colonel watched as the teen walked up to his desk, unceremoniously dumped it on the woodened surface, and stood, waiting for the usual insults to start flying. However, noticing the Colonel's open mouth, he arched an eyebrow; "What?"

"You're the Upstart?!"

"Upstart? What the hell are you talking about?!"

"Not possible!"

"Brother?"

"I told you so."

"What's he talking about?" Edward yelled over at Havoc while pointing to the Colonel.

"What happened to your hair? You have a tan! Where are you normal clothes? When did you grow?!"

Alphonse suddenly looked guilty (as guilty as a suit of armor can get, anyway), and Edward sighed while running a gloved hand through his now shorter (he kept the normal length of his bangs) hair; "Okay. One; It got burnt off by some dumb fuck who thought he could mimic your technique. Two; it happens when you spend all day in the desert – thank you for that, by the way Colonel. I got sunstroke. Three; Al got a bags mixed up and I couldn't find anything other than this," he said, indicating the black and ensemble he wore, "And lastly; _**who are you calling so short they only grow three millimeters are year?!**_"

Roy was so shocked he didn't even bother retorting to Edward's outburst.

"Hey, boss, what happened with the girl in the diner?" Havoc asked after Edward had calmed down a little.

Alphonse laughed and Edward threw him a dirty look. "I don't know," He said, throwing his hands into the air, "I try and be polite and she gets all giggly."

As Havoc goaded Edward into telling him what else had happened, the cogs and wheels started turning in Roy's head. Three thoughts popped into his head and on instinct, he weeded out the best one; "Edward. I believe that you are oblivious then?" He asked, purposely sounding pompous.

"I'm not oblivious!"

"Ah, but you must be," He said, giving a conceited chuckle; "It appears that I'm finally beginning to rub off on you!"

"Say what?"

"Sir?"

"…Brother?"

"You're a charmer, Elric. You've got the ladies talking," He paused and smirked as Edward went bright red, "So I propose an offer – I teach you everything I know."

Edward gave him 'The Look.' It consisted of a dirty scowl that would make elderly women gasp in horror, and little children cry. But Mustang was immune to it, and preserved through it. Edward finally decided to reply; "Not that I'm interested, but why?"

"I can't let talent go to waste."

"What's in it for me?"

"Oh, I don't know," Roy said, as he moved to the front of his desk, "You learn how to woo a certain blonde?"

"Shut your hole!"

"Brother, everyone knows you like her."

"I DON'T LOVE WINRY!"

"Who said anything about 'Winry'?" Mustang taunted.

"SHUT UP!"

"Calm down, boss, you'll blow something." Havoc offered from the sidelines.

"I AM CALM!"

"Elric. Calm yourself. Now, if you're willing to learn, I'm willing to teach."

"I don't need to learn anything!"

Roy chuckled once more and reached behind his back. Holding up a small device, he watched as Edward's face contorted into six different stages before finally stopping at Horror. "I gather that you know what this is, FullMetal? Agree to the terms and I won't send it to _her._"

Silence reigned supreme for several moments while Edward processed the information, stakes, and what would happen. Folding his arms across his chest, Roy watched as Edward went through the thought process, and sighed as he came to a final decision.

"Fine. What do you want?"

* * *

"Hey, Stacey, check out the saucy blond." 

The redhead of the group, Stacey, turned in her seat to see where her friend was pointing to. True to her words, a blonde man sat at the bar, occasionally sipping on some amber liquid. Turning back to her friends, she grinned broadly and they nodded, giving the universal sign of 'Go for It'. Standing, she flicked her hair back and rearranged her chest while stalking over to the bar. Sliding down next to the blonde, she leaned forward and in her best sultry voice, asked;

"You on a date, handsome?"

She held a gasp at bay as gold eyes looked at her. The smirk on his lips made her face flush, and he shifted ever-so-slightly so she could get a look down the white button-down shirt (missing the top two buttons). "Sorry, I'm here with someone. However…I have a friend, if you're interested?"

"What does he look like?" She asked, feeling a little deflated at being turned down.

"Well, turn around and take a look," He said, pointing with a gloved hand.

Behind her was the raven-haired man he'd referred to as his friend. He smiled at her, holding up his drink as if toasting to someone. Feeling her spirits rise a little, she offered a quick thanks to the blonde before stalking over to the other man she'd been passed on to. As she settled next to the Colonel, Edward snorted and took another sip of his traditional creaming soda.


	8. Advice

_Updating seems so…odd now. _

**Title: **Advice  
**Rating: **T – Nothing too drastic  
**Summary: **He knew for a fact that neither of them liked tomatoes. (Established Royai and Edwin)

* * *

It was another fight, and this time Roy had been called in to mediate it. Somewhere along the road it had gotten out of hand and the young couple took it upon themselves to _scream _at each other about everything that was wrong with their relationship. Having been in a similar position himself not too long ago – Riza's personality sometimes conflicted with his own – he understood on some level what was going on.

When he arrived at the park where the two were squaring off he started on the sidelines; Alphonse was watching, shoulders slumped and was dejectedly patting the small Labrador that was his body's 18th birthday present. After achieving Edward's goal of returning Alphonse to his body, it was decided that he should have two birthdays – one for the day he was born, and one on the day he was born again.

"How long have they been at it this time?" The raven-haired man asked.

The boy sighed and the dog whined, mirroring his owner's feelings. "Half an hour now, I'm sure of it."

"Ah."

"And nothing's working?"

"Nope."

"_Could you possibly be any more emotionally detached?"_

"_Could you possibly be any more over emotional?!"_

"_Oh yeah! Well at least I have feelings Mister 'I don't need to say I love you'!" _

"Oh dear."

"Oh dear indeed. Do you know what set them off?" He asked curiously, still watching as the two blondes fought.

Alphonse shook his head sadly. "All I know is that brother was going to ask her something."

"'Ask her something'?"

"Yeah."

"_Machine Geek!" _

"_Alchemy Geek!" _

"_Ditz!"_

"_Shorty!"_

"_Shorty?!" _

"I think I should put my foot in," Roy said quietly to Alphonse before walking forward. The teen nodded before mouthing 'good-luck' while he began to walk forward. He went unnoticed by the two quarreling adults until he was only a few yards away. They both stopped and concentrated their glares at him, but he kept his features impassive even though a small shiver ran up his spine. "Do you mind telling me why you're disturbing the peace?"

"He started it!"

"I did not!"

"Oh yes you did!"

"Oh yeah! How?"

"You blamed me for not bringing the damn tomatoes!"

"I didn't! I said 'look in the basket for me, I think we've forgotten the tomatoes!'"

"See, you blamed me!"

"Oh for crying out loud! I didn't!"

"You just said it yourself!"

"_**Enough!**_" Mustang yelled over the top of the two. "What I fail to see why the damn tomatoes are so important?" He said as calmly as possible. "For starters, they're not even in _season. _Secondly, I know for a fact that neither of you like them anyway."

"He's just trying to blame me for some-"

"_I was going to ask you to marry me!" _Edward suddenly yelled at the top of his voice. "I put the damn ring in the basket and I asked you to go look for the tomatoes, knowing that you'd find the ring first! That's why I asked you to look!"

Several moments of silence passed before a warm breeze picked up, tugging at Winry's white sun dress and Edward's hair. It broke his heart looking at them at that moment where time seemed to freeze; Ed looked about ready to off himself while Winry looked like she had just killed his puppy. So, deciding the best course of action, the Furher cleared his throat and turned to Alphonse, hoping the boy could come up with something.

As he had hoped, Alphonse let the small puppy get out of his arms.

"Bell! Get back here!" the younger Elric yelled, launching himself off the ground to chase after his pet. Counting to three, Roy cast one last glance over at the couple before running off after Alphonse.

* * *

The sun had set slowly that day in Central. Roy knew it was because of what had transpired earlier. Feeling responsible for what had happened, he found that not even Riza's massage helped. Not that it hadn't in the past – god he loved her massages – but the guilt didn't seem to erode through the course of the day. However, just as the sun had set, somebody knocked lightly on the door making him jump slightly at the sound.

"Enter!" He yelled from his seat.

The guilt that had been eating him all day increased ten fold as one very subdued Edward Elric entered his office with his head lowered. Both remained silent as the younger moved through the office and took a seat in front of the large oak desk. They remained still and quiet until Roy finally cracked. "Edward, I'm-"

"Don't bother."

"Edward. I truly am-"

"She said yes, you know."

Blinking in surprise, Roy didn't miss the smile that bloomed slowly onto the blonde's face. "After you left, I tried it my way."

"…That's…"

"Yeah…"

Clearing his throat, Mustang stood, "…I feel that celebrations are in order?"

Chuckling lightly, the 22-year-old crossed his legs and spread his arms out over the top of the chair. "Nah…Don't bother."

"Why not? This is a rare occasion."

"I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. That's not much to celebrate about."

"Ah, the joys of marriage. A toast, then, to your new life?"

"Sure." Edward shrugged.

As Roy walked over to one of his cabinets, however, Edward spoke up. "By the way, that's the last time I ask you how to be romantic, Bastard."


	9. Sunday Morning

**A/N: **I see University as a giant hole. No matter how much I put in – in this case, money – I'll never get it back. But apart from that, I'm still alive! HAH!

**Title:** Sunday Morning  
**Rating: **K/T  
**Summary: **One thing that he didn't appreciate Edward picking up on was his weekly home cleaning regiment – or therefore lack of.

* * *

Edward Elric reflected so much of himself and he couldn't keep the smile that crept onto his face away. The blonde teen had picked up on many of his habits – at least he liked to think – over the years. The intelligent glimmer that his eyes held, that had been combined with a healthy dose of torment and mischief, had learned to be controlled; he could deceive the enemy with one, very carefully constructed glance. Naïve; incompetent; stupid; childish; each look he recognized from when he practiced them in the mirror in his younger years.

Another thing he liked to think the Alchemist had learned from him was the ability to read people like open books. Yes, Edward was intelligent, but when he had first come to be under his command nearly five years ago, he was too trusting. It didn't take long for the streak of childish clinging that stemmed from abandonment issues to be broken, but the way Edward could read people was unique.

And he would have never have been obvious if Hawkeye hadn't made it clear just who he looked like when he shook someone's hand, or read a new acquaintance's face.

However, one thing that he didn't appreciate Edward picking up on was his weekly home cleaning regiment – or therefore lack of.

"Hey, you're turn to do the dishes," the blonde mumbled through a haze of sleep and exhaustion.

Looking up from his paper, Roy sighed. "You know the rules; Monday; Wednesday and Sunday are you turn to do the dishes – and what day is it today?"

Grunting, Edward rolled his eyes. "Sunday. But you skipped your turn on Tuesday-"

"Because I did your round of sweeping."

"…Can't we just get someone else to do it?"

"Who would be willing to clean this house?"

"Well, you _do _live in it. So you should."

"You do too, you know."

"Yes, but I'm the lazy, good-for-nothing teenager who does nothing but sit around reading comics, watching movies, and complains about how harsh you are on me."

There was a brief moment of silence as Roy stared curiously at Edward who decided to stare right back at him. "You're still doing the dishes."

"Yes, _Father._"

"Hey! Don't call me that!"

"Why? You did sign the adoption papers, didn't you?"

"Yes. So…I guess that gives me the right to ground you, then?"

"Oi! You can't do that!"

Chuckling, Roy picked up his newspaper that he had put down earlier that morning. "I can, but I won't – this time. Now, do the dishes, Edward. Otherwise I just may have to call Hughes up and ask him about how I should go about making a commemorative album of our first year together as a family."

"Bastard…"

"Love you too, _Son_."


	10. Trustworthy

You know, I write about 4 of these each go, select one and discard the others because I think they're all crap… What the hell am I doing?! 

**Title: **Trustworthy (Part One)  
**Rating: **T  
**Summary: **Directing his gaze down onto the mop of golden hair that was tied in a ponytail, he couldn't help but notice how odd the feeling of an empty automail port felt against his side. 

* * *

He could smell it on him again. 

He could only pick up the faint aroma that seemed to follow him for days after being released. It was faint and almost indistinguishable over the coppery tang of metal, the smell of old books and the faintest trace of sandalwood, but it was there. The smell of disinfectant, bleach, and sickness would linger on his skin, almost ingrained into the boy's very fiber as if it had become a part of who he was. 

He knew the smell would fade in a few days, but as Edward leaned into his side, he didn't think that it ever would. 

"Alphonse?" 

The boy looked up at him from his book, and Roy found that he wasn't used to being greeted with golden eyes, so much like his brother's, rather than an ominous set of glowing red orbs just yet. Giving the over-tired Elric a small smile, he shifted his older charge so he could reach into his pocket. There was a small pained groan in protest and Alphonse couldn't help but chuckle. Rolling his eyes – and for a moment forgetting that the blonde next to him had nearly died – he handed the 15-year-old a paper bill. 

"Feel up to getting some coffee?" Roy asked quietly, but still loud enough so he could be heard over the train. 

Nodding, Alphonse accepted the money and set his book down on the seat next to him, open on the page he had gotten half way through. "Yeah. Do you think brother…?" 

Even though his question had trailed off, Roy understood. "No. If you can, though, a bottle of water and some crackers. Anything you want, as well." 

Nodding in agreement, the teen slid open the compartment door and closed it as silently as he could. Roy's gaze lingered on the door a moment after Alphonse had left before sighed and redirected his attention out the window where the moon cast a pale glow over the countryside that was passing them by. He hadn't realized that the boy's had lived so far out, and when the sudden sense of Déjà vu washed over him, he realized that he had thought the same thing the first time he had traveled out to Risembool. 

Several moments had passed in silence as the raven-haired man simply gazed out the window with his chin propped up on his elbow, and his other arm firmly wrapped around the oddly silent Edward to make sure that the train's rocking didn't jostle his wounds. The countryside continued to speed by until he felt the alchemist tucked under his arm begin to squirm. Directing his gaze down onto the mop of golden hair that was tied in a ponytail, he couldn't help but notice how odd the feeling of an empty automail port felt against his side. 

"How much longer…?" Edward asked, licking his dry lips. 

"Not much. Do you want to lie down?" 

"I'm not using your lap as a pillow." His words were clipped, and even though he knew the stubborn teen wouldn't admit it, he knew he was in pain. 

"And I'm not going to let you reopen your wounds." 

Groaning, he felt Edward ease back into his side. "Where's Al?"

"He went to get drinks."

"I'll use him as a pillow when he gets back, then." 

"And what's wrong with me?" Roy asked, adding mock-hurt into his voice. 

"You're too bony. Al's plump from all the food our Teacher gave him." 

"While that is true, I doubt that Al could stay awake long enough to make sure you didn't roll off the seat." 

"And you can?" Edward asked, looking up from under his superior's grasp. 

"Yes." 

Grumbling, Roy was shocked when Edward gave in and maneuvered himself to stretch across the seat. There was a long sigh as Edward dropped his head into the man's lap, but Roy simply smiled and smoothed out the blanket that had been draped over the boy's shoulders a moment ago, so he was completely covered. "I'm not that bad, am I?" 

"…Shut it." 

"Good to see you trust me, Edward," Roy said, draping an arm over the teen's shoulders. 

The man didn't get a reply, however, because the blonde had already drifted off to sleep. 


	11. Food For Thought

Um…Not dead?

**Title:** Food For Thought  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary: **The quickest way to Edward's heart was through his stomach.

* * *

Edward was in a foul mood.

It had been raining all week, his brother had found another kitten to bring home out of said rain, he's report was ruined when he tripped into a rather large puddle just outside Central, and now he was standing in the middle of the Colonel's office, letting the dirty water drip onto the ground. Hawkeye had cast a disapproving glance his way at first, but nodded when he gave a small wave. Havoc was smartly sitting across the other side of the room, hiding his silent laughter with a cigarette.

A quick look at the clock told him it was lunch time, and he guessed the others had gone to the cafeteria – Colonel included.

Of course, his stomach chose that moment to remind him that he'd skipped Breakfast.

The sound caught Hawkeye's attention – _did she ever miss anything? _– and a small smile crawled onto her face. Edward felt his face heat up slightly and made a '_Ch_' sound as he turned away from her. He wandered over to the far wall after a few minutes, and began looking at the photograph's he'd seen almost a hundred times before, briefly catching the noise of a phone being dialed. The Lieutenant's voice became background noise as he became engrossed in committing the faces to memory – which wasn't too hard considering most of them were of the Colonel and his loyal staff.

Time passed, and soon the sounds of laughter, talking and boots scuffing against cheap military-building flooring drew his attention. The door opened and closed, and he glared at the raven-haired man who caught his gaze. "FullMetal, nice to see you."

"Took your sweet time," He grumbled, glancing at the clock once more – nearly an hour had passed.

"Yes, I had to pick up some things," He merely explained, dumping a navy blue towel over Edward's head. Pulling it back to rest on his shoulders, the teen opened his mouth to retort when a chicken salad sandwich was shoved in and a bottle of apple juice thrown at him. He managed to catch it with ease, but stared dumbly at it for several seconds before he noticed the Colonel smirking.

He took the sandwich out of his mouth with his free hand, swallowing the stray pieces. "What-"

"I don't see your report with you; care to explain?"

"Not my fault… If it hadn't been raining for so damn long--"

"You can tell me your story in my office, short stuff."

"I'm not short!"

"And I've finished my paperwork. Now get in there," he said, jerking his thumb towards his office.

**#2**

"Edward!"

The sudden call from behind him was enough to make him stop and turn, but when he saw who had used his name his jaw dropped. Roy Mustang was walking up to him, a brown shopping bag cradled in his arm, wearing his military pants and boots – save his jacket – and that insufferable smirk.

Coming back to himself, the young alchemist clamped his mouth shut and glared. "What are you doing?"

"Ah, even the great and powerful need to eat, Edward," he said, coming to a halt a few feet away.

"…Why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?" The Colonel asked, his smirk growing more annoying by the second.

"Calling me by my name; you don't do that. You're a bastard," he pointed out.

"I resent that you'd think so poorly of me, Edward!" He exclaimed, making a poor woman crossing the bridge look at the two curiously. The blonde quickly killed the snooping with a pointed glare, and she kept walking with a huff. The raven-haired man watched her leave with an amused smile. "We're no longer in the office, why bother with formalities?"

"Does that mean I can call you Roy?" He asked, one eyebrow arched.

The older man snorted, "No. You can call me Mustang, Sir or your Highness."

"You're a real Bastard."

"If that's what you think," He said with a shrug, "Oh, almost forgot," he muttered reaching into his shopping bag. Edward frowned a little as he watched the man shuffle around and mutter to himself as he looked for whatever it was.

A moment later, Roy smirked as he pulled out a small plastic container – Central Deli was printed on the side, and as his superior took a few steps forward and placed it in his hands, he instantly recognized the contents – fried dumplings in sweet and sour sauce. "I thought you might like them. I got them for myself, but you look like you need them," He said flippantly.

"Uh…"

"'Thank you, your Majesty' will suffice."

"Not on your life," Edward said with a snort.

**#3**

He heard the ruffling of fabric next to his ear, and when he looked up he was met with the site of the Colonel sliding down the dilapidated wall next to him. Edward would never admit it, but the man's warmth was a welcome barrier against the harsh winter winds that ravaged the abandoned town. Their shelter was small, and did relatively nothing, but it was the safest building and kept the snow off them.

"Here. I've only got two, so enjoy it while it lasts," Roy said, holding out a small packet.

Edward frowned, "What is it?"

"Hot pocket. Now eat before it gets cold."

He took the offering, and smiled – he didn't want to state the obvious.

**#4**

It was an ungodly hour – the twilight between night and morning where the sun hadn't risen, but the moon hadn't completely faded. The streets were quiet, the fresh snow crisp under his boots and he loved the sound it made when it yielded to his weight. It would be gone in a matter of hours – dirt and run-off water combining with it to create a thick mush, so unlike its predecessor. However, in the gentle light of the fading night, it was an almost magical time that he'd come to easily appreciate.

Central base was just as blissfully quiet, and he took a childish enjoyment in the way his footsteps were the only thing he could hear over the whispered buzzing of the lights above. When he finally reached his destination, the sun had just began to peak over the horizon and he took a minute to stand near a window and watch as it slowly rose further, casting the morning glow over the now-waking town.

A small snore caught his attention a moment later, however, and he curiously followed the noise into his office.

What he found was a small bundle of clothing on one of the sofas – the unmistakable red jacket was hazardously thrown over his small frame, and his boots rested under the coffee table. He smiled, and as quietly as he could, closed the door and walked around the leather seat, dumping a brown bag on the table as he went.

Edward's face was relaxed as he slept, but his presence must've been felt by the teen, and oh-so-slowly, unusually dim golden eyes opened. He licked his lips, and the teen didn't need anymore than a few seconds to notice him leaning on the back of the chair. "Urg. You're here early. Why?"

"Paperwork," Roy replied, almost in a whisper – it seemed wrong to disturb such a blessed silence with such a trivial thing as talking.

"Right." As he sat up, his coat pooled around his waist, "You're a morning person, aren't you?"

"Not usually, no."

"Whatever. Report's there, I'm going to go get some food," Edward muttered as he scrubbed the sleep from his eyes with one hand, and blindly reached for his boots. The Colonel chuckled, committing the image of a groggy Edward with bed hair struggling to do such a simple thing as putting shoes on.

"No need. I have breakfast right there," Roy said, pointing to the bag on the table. Ed eyed it curiously, "Little café on Third opens early for tradesmen. They got my order wrong anyway."

"Nice - castoffs. How generous of you." Despite the grumbling, he still took the bag and opened it up.

With a small laugh, the older man walked to his desk and prepared himself for a hard day ahead that would probably consist of nothing but paperwork, complaints and being shot at. He'd be hungry for a little while – considering the bagel the blonde was eating was his favourite kind _and _his breakfast – but he could always get Kain to go get another for him.

It was going to good use, anyway.

**#5**

It was such a common thing now, that it had become a part of his routine; Edward would do something stupid, provoke the wrong person, and more often then not managed a three-day stint in the hospital; sometimes longer, sometimes shorter. He'd get the call from one of the nurses, already irritated from having to explain to the young Major that he had to stay for the minimum amount of time required by his injuries.

He would be granted leave for half a day to debrief his subordinate, and that usually involved a small trip into the Markets.

"About time!"

"Be thankful-" He'd always start as he entered the room, "-that I even do this for you."

The boxed lunch would be put on his hospital-standard tray, and between the giant mouthfuls of whatever it was, and Alphonse's insistence that he slow down, Edward managed to get out a small thank you.

**#6 **

"Just eat it."

"No-o way."

"It won't kill you."

"How do I know that?"

"…Shut up and take a bite."

"You hesitated!"

"Edward, just-"

"-Wait! You don't even _know_ if it's any good!"

"I've eaten it plenty of times – each time _I _cooked it. I'm sure this time is no different."

"…If I get sick, you'll never cook again and Hughes stops taking pictures."

"I have no control over Maes, and you know it."

"Then find a way."

"…Okay, deal. Now eat."

Edward took the first bite, complained the spaghetti tasted bitter, and five minutes later asked for seconds much to Roy's amusement.

**#7**

They were both a shivering wreck, bundled up in military issue blankets and anything the staff could spare to keep them warm. It was almost comical the way Alphonse's teeth rattled together, or the way Edward was shaking so badly that he could see it from across the other side of the room – but both Elrics almost died just only an hour earlier when the makeshift ice-rink gave out from underneath their feet, plunging them into sub-zero water.

"W-well, y-you s-s-said I s-s-should exp-peri-ience t-things-s, B-Brother," Alphonse stuttered, managing a small smile.

"Not what I meant, Al." Edward's controlled voice was only betrayed by the bluish hue to his lips and the constant shaking. He glared when his younger brother started laughing, "What?"

"D-Don't b-be s-so up-pt-tight!"

"I'm going to have to agree with Edward on this one Alphonse," Roy said, walking through the open door to his office, "As strange as it is."

"Oi! Don't encourage him!"

"B-Brother…"

"Here," Roy said, simultaneously rolling his eyes and handing them both a ceramic mug, "Hot chocolate and Hawkeye's bringing in some soup that I made in a few minutes."

Alphonse sighed into his mug as he took a grateful sip, but Edward arched an eyebrow, "You cook?"

"Learning to, actually," He said, lowering himself onto the Red Oak coffee table in front of the boys, "It's turned out well, if I say so myself."

"I c-can't wait!"

Edward snorted, "That only because you think _everything _tastes wonderful, Al. And why do you need to learn? You're General Bastard – you can hire a cook."

"You'll find out soon." Was Roy's only answer before Hawkeye interrupted, bringing with her two shallow bowls of something, that Edward had to admit, smelled extremely good. She waited patiently as the boys rearranged themselves into a position where they wouldn't spill anything, while the General took their mugs from them.

Alphonse inhaled it with a gusto that surprised both General and Lieutenant Colonel. Edward watched him for a moment before trying a spoonful and letting it sit on his tongue as the warmth spread through him. He was surprised when he realized what type of soup it was – "Chicken Noodle?"

"Hey, I didn't say it was gourmet," Roy defended, catching Hawkeye smiling out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm not complaining," Edward said with a shrug.

"I love it!" Alphonse exclaimed with a happy sigh, much to his brother's disgust. "You have to cook this again, General!"

"I will." Roy's laugh made the blonde roll his eyes. "Good to see some colour back in you both. Your clothes will be done shortly and then you can go, but try not to drown this time?"

"_Hah. _Very _funny._"

"We promise General Mustang!"

"Suck up," Edward muttered with another spoonful of soup in his mouth, ignoring Roy's smile and missing Hawkeye swiftly place a thick brown envelope on the General's desk amongst a stack of paperwork.

* * *

**(A)** That envelope will appear next chapter

**(B) **I think doing a chapter on what happened at the ice-rink would be fun… because Edward angst is so much fun.

**(3) **Yes, there will be another update in the next month… - Unlike last time.

**(D) **I can't remember who my FMA Beta is, so if you're out there, drop us a line?


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